The Sigma Signal

Issue 10
"If it didn’t happen, we’ll report it anyway."

Arts and Culture Tregina
This month, we begin a new Arts and Culture section, containing poetry, theatre, arts and culture happenings onboard Sigma Station.

The following poem was written by scribe:


The commander yelled "Go!"
We all ran apace
We spread and we scattered
All over the place

Chaos ensued
And began the great trample
The first Treasure Hunt
for the Armandite Sample

I checked in the vents
And I checked in the pools
And we all ran around
Like lost little fools

People bought tickets
And tripped over their toes
They looked in places
Where nobody goes

Ten minutes later
The place was in crisis
We were starting to wonder
If this thing was on Isis

Whilst chatting with Barnoid
Re: something hilarium
A certain Ms Scaper
Asked if we'd checked the aquarium

We went rushing off
To the pool tanks once more
Because in my haste
I'd only checked the floor

We pulled on our suits
We belly-flopped in
And proceeded to go
For a leisurely swim

Pushing and shoving
The splashing was ample
But then, my luck held,
Dream swam right past it

It wasn't so easy
No walk in the park
But I wrestled the sample
From the mouth of a shark

Standing victorious
The winner by far
I took off the suit
And went back to the bar

Something Is Out There Tregina
Sigma Observatory’s own Professor Bannoch made an exciting announcement at a recent press conference. During last month’s close pass by Osiris, astronomers aboard the Station were able to make special observations and take measurements of light and gravity being curved around the giant planet to a greater extent than usual. Much to everyone’s surprise, light and radio emissions from previously unknown sources were detected.

Professor Bannoch is encouraging residents of the Station to join with the Station’s professional astronomers in searching for the celestial objects that may be the sources of these mysterious signals. Please take note that if you are the first person to locate and report a previously uncharted star, planet, nebula or other object using the Station’s telescope, you will be credited with the discovery and may be allowed to name the object.

Note: An uncharted object is any object that does not already appear on the notepad on the desk in the observatory. Reports of new objects should be emailed to, along with at least two possible names.

Gossip from around the Station Tregina
Word has it that tregina, obiwan and fikrik are same person. While there are several residents with aliases, that seems to be a stretch of the imagination. But who knows for sure?

There have been murmurings of conspiracy in treasure hunt results, since both jeremy and nikj keep winning. Perhaps it’s just sour grapes, or perhaps there’s something to it..

Resident elli reports that sources told her that the core had been breached, saying that two humanoids managed to break through the outer glass door and stun the robot. Damage to the Core is unconfirmed. Besides, we all know that the Core security can’t be breached, right?

Interview with Nikj Tregina
In an ongoing effort to help station residents get to know one another, we have been publishing interviews with residents of the Station. Recently, I received a brief e-mail from resident nikj answering a few questions about himself. However, in light of recent events on the Station and the suspect nature of the interviewees answers, we can only publish the following few comments:

nikj claims to be a native of Xylan who was attempting an act of sabotage on the planet when he was mistaken for a refugee and transported to Sigma Station. He also claims to be able to change into any form he wishes at any time, although no native of Xylan is currently known to have that ability. Perhaps he is actually from the same planet as our other shape shifting residents.

Apparently his only goal is to become rich and famous, although he says ‘only rich would be ok.’ His advice to others is to invest in the stock market. What he plans to do with his riches is anybody’s guess.

Letters from Readers
From : bhamber
Subject : First Max jail sentence
Sent at : Thu May 22 17:56:02 BST 2003
Some users have been abusing the barman and bots for the fun of going in jail.
Why would people do this? Well, Wedgefreak has got the longest sentence of 100
hours in jail, he was attacking the barman, getting thrown out then going back
in and attacking him again. He did this several times and then got arrested.
Wedgefreak got very bored in jail and made two more characters but got bored of
them as well because they weren't as good as his first character 'wedgefreak'.

This is a warning to all of you trouble makers. DON'T ATTACK OTHERS! GIVE RESPECT!

From : mxm
Subject : Gettin Old!!!
Sent at : Wed Jun 11 22:18:25 BST 2003
Sigma Station resident, MxM, has found that the same play is being played all the time. He thinks
that, although it is a good play, it should be changed.  Romeo and Juliet and Othello could replace
it. He thinks that Shakespeare is a great playwright and that his plays would entertain residents.

Also he thinks that a popcorn dispenser and a coke machine would be good in the foyer for the grand
hall. Residents may enjoy eating things while they watch plays and also just in general.

Report by MxM

Previous editions

Contributing articles
Contributary articles for The Sigma Signal should be submitted to The editor reserves the right to make changes to submitted articles. (If you wish, you can request content approval when you submit the article so that you see the final version before it goes to print.) The editor also reserves the right to reject articles that have not been spell-checked!

Good submissions may earn you 1000 credits and the coveted rank of Reporter or Journalist inside Alternate Universe.

Back to top